Gloria Allred: Hit or Miss?

I was disturbed by the recent publicity stunt of famed attorney Gloria Allred and her client, porn star Joslyn James[photo left], over a company selling golfs balls called "Tail of the Tiger".

The balls were produced by a company called Creative Classics out of Canada and are sold with the names and pictures of the 12 alleged ladies with whom Tiger Woods sought sexual pleasure outside his marriage.

Now, let me be clear, I have no issue with Ms. Allred, I do however take it as a personal slap in the face when anyone claims that using these specific balls condones violence against women. That is absurd!

During the press conference Gloria Allred used a large graphic to demonstrate that swinging a club and hitting these balls furthers violence. I could see if a company produced ammunition or pocket knives with pictures of women, but golf balls?

Joslyn James then spoke and said she is is angry that a Canadian company has put her portrait on a golf ball it is selling as part of its "Mistress Collection," "I feel that it is wrong for a golf ball to have my picture on it because golfers hit their golf balls with a lot of force," she said.


Then I nearly fell out of my chair as I heard the porn star Joslyn James say:

"As a victim of violence myself, it bothered me to think that someone would be standing with a dangerous club in their hands hitting a ball with my photo on it."



Golf is a game played on a course that involves hitting balls into holes and unless a club is used to threaten a person similar to a baseball bat there is no danger. And yet, instead of simply holding a press conference saying a class action lawsuit would be filed or they were upset with this company for producing golf balls, these two women are using a life and death epidemic and swinging it around as if to imply it is dangerous to women.

In my opinion Pornography, those who work, sell and produce these graphic images is by far more dangerous for women and young girls.


Joslyn James and Gloria Allred should each publicly apologize for this hair brain stunt!

Is It Good For You?

This is a post I've taken from one of the writers of "Time's Up!" Tanya Warrington. It comes from her blog, "Dazzling Wings." Her words always move me.

Is it good for you? A short question with huge ramifications.

As former victims, we are more likely to base decisions on unconscious questions such as "Will the other person be mad if I say I don't want to do this?" or "I can survive a little more; what difference will it really make?" or "Will my doing this help this other person out?"

I am learning that this other-focused way of making decisions is insidious and well ingrained. It may have helped me in the past. Perhaps caring more about the other's reaction or needs, rather than evaluating my own condition and needs at least gave me some illusion of power in situations of powerlessness.

But now that I am free from abuse and establishing a more healthy lifestyle, I need to know how decisions will affect me. I need to know if a food choice, medicine choice, or relationship choice is good for me. It turns out that I have a starring role in being responsible for my own health choices. Will I spend time with someone who drains me? Will I do something I do not want to do, because somebody important to me thinks that I should? Will I eat a food that has no nutrient value? Will I alternate sitting and standing throughout the day to respect my physical limitations?

How about you? Do you need to think about whether choices are good for you? The good news is we make many decisions daily so there is plenty of turf on which to practice. Start asking yourself, "Is this good for me?"

If we don't know whether or not something is good for us, we can ask the God who has promised to give wisdom to all who ask.

God, bless our minds with your wisdom, our hearts with receptiveness to the truth, and our wills ready to act in line with Your will. Amen.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5 (NIV)

Deadly Silence: The Church and Domestic Violence-Today On The Susan Murphy Milano Show

Scripture deals with “love your wife as Christ loves the church,” and the application is obvious, but none of Paul’s sin lists our favorite parables or stories containing a guy who slaps around his girlfriend or a man who beats his wife when he’s drunk. What’s the payoff for the average pastor who brings this up? Counseling women and hearing embarrassing secrets. And then….divorces. We all know how evangelicals feel about those….or, at least most of them.

On this enlighting topic is guest Professional WBT angler (champion bass pro) Karen Rae Elkins. And hosting todays show while Susan is on the road is Lavina Maters, author of "Breathe Again" and the founder of S.A.V.E Ministries.

DATE: February 3, 2010

TIME: 3:00 PM Central Standard Time

Live call in Number: 347-326-9337

Show Link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

If you are unable to listen live, return to this site and the show will automatically play. Just remember to turn on and up the volume on your computer

Let's Make A Deal

Sandra Viramontes, 30, of Chicago, was beaten and bruised covering 90 percent of her body. No one could say for sure how many hours she was unconscious before her mother received a call from her son-in-law saying her daughter needed medical attention.

When the mother walked in to her daughter’s home Luis Viramontes, the son-in-law was gone in his place a relative who stood by and did nothing until the mother shouted to call 911. But it was too late.

At the hospital a trauma doctor informed the family “they had never seen anybody get a beating like that before.” Sandra’s had been beaten and bruised over 90 percent of her body. After the doctors ran tests the family was told her injuries were not survivable and two weeks later while in her mother’s she was taken off life support.

According to the Chicago Tribune Luis Viramontes was initially charged with aggravated domestic battery and attempted murder, according to court records. He turned himself 3 days after the beating to police on Jan. 13, 2010. He was out on $500,000 and ordered to wear a GPS monitoring device bail but was back in police custody Sunday, waiting to be charged with her murder.

My question is how the hell was this bozo allowed bail in the first place? Her condition was critical and she was not going to survive her injuries. Maybe the judge who set his bond did not consider Luis, "oh so gentle" as dangerous.

This is a classic case of senseless and ignorant denial. It makes my skin crawl when I read comments made by members or friends of a killer’s family, “he always been real gentle.” Another comment as if to set the tone when this case goes to trial, “Luis couldn’t sleep or he cried nonstop.” Was this before during and after the beating? Or was it only when this cowardly individual realized he’d better have a few witnesses to testify as to his acting out the part of showing remorse for murdering his wife and the mother of his two young children? He probably thought it all out and carefully deciding what he would tell the person who will represent him that he lost control or it was an accident he had no intention of hurting her. The defense attorney will respond something like “I’ll talk to the State and see if we can get the charges reduced to manslaughter or second degree murder. Or maybe he’ll get his client a deal. You know so he will not have to spend the rest of his life in prison.

To the family of Luis Viramontes' who are having trouble reconciling the charges against him with what they know about his personality. That is the million dollar question for which the answer is clear. Your “loving, gentle and warm” blood relative is nothing but a cold blooded murderer.

My Prayer’s are for Sandra’s children and her family. When Luis Viramontes killed Sandra he removed what will never be replaced, a precious life!

"God Bless you, Susan McFarland"

Gone Forever is a story of violence and murder behind closed doors. The book written by author Diane Fanning shows us human behavior at its worst and why people stay in violent marriages that often lead to murder. Even when the acts by a spouse are unacceptable, people look the other way or assume that the person is just "odd." Friends and close relatives are naive and often believe that there will be a magical change in an abuser which as we all know never happens in the real world of family violence.

Recently, Diane Fanning wrote a guest blog on Time's Up regarding this case.

"When my readers pick up one of my books, I want them to see the victim as a real person—as someone who deserved to live their life to the fullest. Only family and friends can supply me with the anecdotes and the information about personality that enable me to shape a portrait of their deceased loved one and thus, allow my readers to understand the magnitude of the loss suffered by this crime."

"I have found through the years that the people who shared their memories and thoughts with me are grateful that they did. I’ve received many notes and emails thanking me for remembering their loved one in my book. Some of these people continue to maintain contact, years after publication.

The more in-depth information I can gather, the better job I do. When I wrote GONE FOREVER, I had an amazing treasure chest of information about Susan McFarland—access to her personal journal, a sibling’s perspective on her childhood and the memories of friends throughout her life. I felt a strong emotional connection to her. I wrote about this feeling in the Afterword of the book:

One morning while driving up Interstate Highway 35 to Austin, Susan McFarland became so real to me that I thought about how much more I would enjoy the ride if she were sitting beside me sharing stories and passing the time together. Then the realization struck—I would never be able to meet her. I would never bump into her in Central market. I would never laugh with her over lunch. I would never hear the sound of her voice or see the sunny glow of her smile.

At that moment, I was hit by a sense of loss so visceral; it took my breath away and formed pools of water in my eyes. The light of a life-enriching personality was snuffed out, never to brighten anyone’s day again. Gone forever—all because of the violent selfishness of one man.

To this day, I think of Susan when I enter the dark recesses of a crime—talking to killers, looking at crime scene photos, reading autopsy reports. She is my bridge to surviving family and friends, one that allows me to glimpse the inner strength and determination that many of them possess. She reminds me that her story has the potential to save the lives of other women. I owe her a debt of gratitude that I can never repay. God bless you, Susan McFarland."

Writing a book is a long process that is why I write blogs on victims so we can learn from their lives in hopes of saving others. But a published book is different it records the history and the details of persons life before during and after an event. For Susan McFarland and the other victims Diane Fanning writes about in her books, she also enshrines their lives in the Library of Congress for at least one hundred years, if for nothing else but to say their lives mattered before they were abruptly removed by another individual's rage.

"Justice Prevailed"

Rebecca McEvoy was raped and sodomized by her Step- father, Police Officer Bob Ingel. Rebecca McEvoy age 11, lost her life in a fatal car accident on the way to testify for the 3rd time as to the rape, and sexual assault she suffered at this predators hands.

Over a two year period the trial started and stopped like a car without any gas because Rebecca was unable to face her accuser in court. The defense lawyers were citing the "Crawford" case out of Ohio. That says “you have the constitutional right to cross examine your accuser” and because the girl was dead and unable to testify, there was a chance the Judge could throw out the case. But Assistant District Attorney, Steven Giardini was determined to make Rebecca’s case the exception because she had already been before a grand jury on two separate occasions and given her testimony.

It took great courage for this child to come forward and disclose the brutal sexual assaults committed by a person whom was not only living in her home, but, he was a cop with a badge and a gun.

On Tuesday, the trial resumed, the courtroom was packed with friends and family who for months had been ordered by the court to remain silent. Family members were prohibited by the courts from speaking to the media or releasing information and new developments on the case via the Internet or on blogs.

An hour or so before the trial began, Bob Ingle, who faced life in prison if convicted, turned down a plea deal, by the prosecutors. In my opinion, this dangerous and abusive sexual predator believed from day one he would never see the inside of a prison cell and walk free.

Late Wednesday both the defense and the state rested their case. The jury deliberated only a couple of hours before they returned the verdict of guilty!

While on earth Rebecca McEvoy suffered a “hell” no child should have to endure. But, this brave little girl did just that from the moment she came forward and told the world, enough.

From the heaven’s the angels sounded their horns and for Rebecca McEvoy, justice prevailed!

"Breathe Again- Surviving Rape" Today on the Susan Murphy Milano Show

It was a hot July night in 1985, and the Texas sixth-grader Lavina Masters had been sexually assaulted by an unknown suspect. This process -- collecting evidence for a rape kit -- lasted several hours was "devastating." But just as difficult, says Masters, was the 20-year wait for that evidence to yield results.

Lavina discussed in a recent interview with CNN how her rape kit sat idle until 2005, when the Dallas Police Department re-opened her case, as part of a new initiative to solve old crimes.

Please join us for a very special hour with Author and national safety prevention expert Lavinia Masters. And Lisa Fiorese Michels a board member with Project Meridian.org and a noted speaker on "Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome" and educating those whom often feel shame and embarrassment when the crime of rape is committed against them.

DATE: January 27, 2010

TIME: 3:00 PM Central Standard Time

Live call in Number: 347-326-9337

Show Link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano


If you are unable to listen live, return to this site and the show will automatically play. Just remember to turn on and up the volume on your computer.

To email us with comments or questions,or to be considered as a guest on a future show we can be reached at [email address] murphymilano@gmail.com